


What Would I Say?

by MarlaLannisterErsoDanGlokta



Series: A Tight-Knitt Proporsal [2]
Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Character Study, Fluff and Angst, I did my best, Infidelity, M/M, Post-Canon, References to Suicide, kind of, redoing, wedding stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 16:10:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18479725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarlaLannisterErsoDanGlokta/pseuds/MarlaLannisterErsoDanGlokta
Summary: After he dies, Marvin finally gets an answer to his proposal...so moving the might have a second chance, if they are willing to do things better this time.(Still shitty summaries, sorry).





	What Would I Say?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> Here we are again...this could be understood as a sequel of my previous fic “A Marriage Proposal (Reprise)” but the tone is totally different and they can be read separately without any problem.  
> This took me a lot of writes and rewrites, so I hope is worth it.  
> Sorry for all my Spanish speaker and quick tipper mistakes  
> Extra notes: YEaaaaah A New Brain reference on Marvin’s last name. What can I say? I LOVE A New Brain (And, yeah, there is also a too obvious reference to The New Normal...sorry, I am a bitch for references).  
> Thoughts between brackets [ ]

Describing the Afterlife was...almost impossible but, once you were there, it just made sense.  
At least, that was the way all went for Marvin after he hanged himself.  
Firstly, he saw no one.  
Then, he saw Him. More perfect than he ever was while alive, even the bald spot was gone from his head; as he could see when he titled his head in an almost theatrical vow, before approaching him.  
“You didn't stay long enough to hear my answer, you were never patient at all…”  
The taller man started toying with the rope that, somehow, was still around his neck, though now it was loose instead of tight enough to cut his breath.  
Marvin almost melt when Whizzer's hand didn't just pass through the object, but actually made contact.  
He was there, REALLY there.  
“I love you.” It was the only thing he could say. Then, he hugged him, he hugged him so hard that, were they to be alive, he would have choked him to death. “Even if you refuse to marry me.”  
The other man pushed him away, playfully.  
“Wow Marv, if you really think so, maybe you don't love as much as you think…”  
He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He didn't deserve it.  
“Wait...you were going to say yes?”  
“Actually, I already did, you dumbass. But, as I was saying…” He came closer to him again. “You didn't stay long enough to get your reply. What make me reconsider whether you are worth my pure dead hand or not…” A dramatic pause filled the air while he made the space between the most recently deceased and him totally inexistent and kissed him quickly in the mouth. “Nah, I won't be petty, that was more your style. So, if you are not getting cold feet about your proposal...shall we? You can even wear that rope, is still better than some of your ties.”  
Marvin rolled his eyes at the puns.  
“Are you finished?”  
As an answer, he kissed him again. It felt so strange yet so good to have him back…  
“So...how should we do this?”  
“Oh, you want me to lead now?”  
“I mean, you have more experience being dead than I do…”  
“Alright, but you'd better compensate it latter. And you know I don't come cheap…”  
“God you are impossible!”  
They both laughed and the tallest of the pair cleared his voice.  
“When I first met you, I first thought: 'meh’. Then, as we spoke, I thought 'wow, he's loaded AND a closeted gay, today I found my Golden Ticket’. As I started to actually know you I thought 'this guy is surprisingly great at sex and sometimes kind of interesting; good thing he is so messed up or I would fell for him’. Funny thing, a couple of days after I had thought that my mind changed completely to 'shit, I am FALLING for him...Screw it, let's fuck with MANY other guys, the feeling will disappear and, of course, never let the asshole now…’ I did quite a good job at it, cheating as much as possible, not trying to help out when you were aching and deleting love from my vocabulary...even though I moved in, gave in into playing houses and indulged most of your behaviours, as awful as they could be. I tried to convince myself I didn't love you but, the thing is, you are like a drug I can not give up. During those two boring as shit years we spent apart I started sleeping with two types of people: men who looked like you and men who were named like you...It took losing you for me to realise you were all that I needed. Well, you and Jason; and maybe your money.” He made a quickly stop to laugh and try not to start crying. “But...I'm no fool and you were even abusive at times and you hated yourself so much you ended up hating on everyone else...So I was not going to stay there...Thank God Jason tried so hard to keep contact and became our personal chaperone. Because not only I did improve but...you did too. From that moment on, I have been able to know that I can love you without feeling stupid for doing so...So let's seal this with a kiss and whatever comes after, alright?”  
They were about to do so when an ominous voice interrupted them.  
“STOP THIS. STOP THIS. Shit, I am/We are truly rooting for you…”  
Both men looked around, confused.  
“Excuse us, who…?”  
“God, or maybe Gods, I am/we are not giving you the privilege of knowing which religion is right...or maybe none is.”  
“What…?”  
“The thing is, I/we like you and with my/our all mighty powers we are going to give you a second chance...you are going back in time, before even your wife knew and remember ALL as a dream...I/we hope you do better now.”  
With these words, the scene turned to white.

Marvin woke up in the cheap but stylish apartment of whom he guessed could be already considered his lover, Whizzer Brown.  
He had just had the weirdest of dreams, but it felt so real…  
...all of the sudden, he felt the urge to hug the other man, to hold him as tight as possible, just in case he disappeared…  
...what the hell?! He knew the man for three months and they had only started spending quality time together like a month ago…  
...but it felt like so much more. He laid his eyes on the naked asleep man next to him. What was this feeling?  
He shook his head, this was stupid. Love was stupid…  
The other man woke up abruptly, and stared at him. He seemed at the verge of crying.  
“Marv…” He suddenly shut up.  
Though his tone sounded as if he was longing for him to stay. However, Marvin decided to blame this to Whizzer still being half asleep, choosing to think that the younger man was complaining about him still being there.  
“Don't worry, I was already leaving, that pretty shirts of yours don't pay themselves.”  
For a second, he felt bad for speaking that way to him and, for an infinitesimal part of that second, he could have sworn Whizzer's eyes looked hurt.  
But it was just a millisecond.  
“Alright, see ya’ tomorrow. I need to screw someone funnier and hotter tonight. Luckily enough, he won't be a messy closet case.”  
He wrapped himself on the bed sheets and turned his back on Marvin, who scoffed and left.  
The dream was almost forgotten at this point.

It was already night, and Whizzer Brown was in one of his favourite gay bars.  
He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about his dream in the whole day. About those two and something years and how they ended...how HE ended.  
And, more importantly, he couldn't stop thinking about Marvin.  
Marvin Schwinn.  
He wasn't like any other lover he ever had and, even he knew he was as far from perfect as it gets, he had started to realise that what he felt for him was way more tender than he had ever felt for anyone else.  
Reason enough not to show it much, he didn't do feelings. Plus, the guy could be a complete asshole when he wanted, not exactly relationship material (not that he was himself, either).  
Though that dream...and that morning, when he opened his eyes, Marvin had seemed truly worried about him.  
He found himself thinking about the dinner they had had a couple nights ago, they way the conversation had gone, so smoothly; how he had felt as if he could have stayed in that moment for forever he would have been glad of doing so.  
Well, maybe having Jason there could have improve things even more; he had met the kid as a 'work friend’ and he had already grown fond of him as possibly imaginable...it'd be great to be able to call him a son.  
He drank from his glass violently.  
What the fuck was wrong with him? Was he actually thinking about forming a family? With the guy that cheated on his wife so shamelessly he had even introduced her to his 'special friend’ as a 'work friend’? The man who sometimes went on rage sprees that would be scary if he wasn't a head shorter than himself?  
Although he was also one of the very few people who made him smile for more than ten seconds, who -when he wasn't having one of those 'bad moments'- genuinely cared when something bad had happened to him.  
He shook his head and drank again. He must stop thinking that way, he was not going to get dragged into the the whole tight-knit family concept.  
Another glass appeared in front of him.  
“The man over there says is on him.” The bartender told him.  
He muttered a 'thank you’ and headed in the direction of his potential new one-last-stand.  
He seemed his own age and had piercing blue eyes.  
“Hi, I'm David.”  
“Bryan.”  
He didn't know why he lied, but as he did a flash of himself lying flat on a racquetball court, losing conscience as Marvin cried for help.  
He blinked, trying to erase one and for all that dream.  
Now, he had better things to focus on.

“How was work, honey?”  
While she asked Marvin, Trina tried to push Jason away from the chess set and into the dinner desk.  
As an answer, the man just groaned and threw his coat with no care, as usual.  
Then, as his wife picked it up and said something about how sorry she was he hadn't been able to come home the night before, he had the clear vivid memory of the woman hugging him as he cried in front of a hospital door while he apologised for everything and she told him -with a strength she usually didn't show- that it wasn't time for apologies, that there were more important issues at that moment.  
And he knew what they were: the death of the very same man he had left this morning in a miniscule apartment after another nasty discussion provoked by both men stubbornness.  
“Marvin!”  
Trina was looking at him worried.  
“You seemed in other universe.”  
Because he was. Suddenly, he was angry at her; it was easy for her, she didn't have to live pretending to be something she was not, being something she had always being told was WRONG. It made him so damn mad how little she valued being so simpl…  
...more memories, more images of Trina proving herself to be much much more that he had always believed her to be.  
And the memory of the slap, the memory of all this anger that usually rushed through his veins going into his hand and, from there, to the face of Trina, so hard she almost felt to the floor; Jason witnessing the whole thing.  
[Bullshit, just a bad dream, I am never gonna reach that point…]  
Decided to compensate his previous behaviour, he decided to help Trina with Jason before dinner.  
Everything was going to be swell.

This man, David, was just amazing at sex. That is all Whizzer could think while both laid naked in his bed.  
Suddenly, the almost completely stranger was over him again.  
“Another one?”  
“Any problem with that?”  
[There is talking in the in between with Marvin]. He wanted to give himself a judgy look, he should stop thinking about that man when a younger, more attractive and cheerful...wait, did he really found him more attractive? For starters, his hole face was so typically shaped it was almost boring...but since when did he cared about that?  
[Since a month ago, shorta kinda].  
Hearing his own inner voice using one of the expressions of his usual lover was more than enough, time to stop thinking about him and having some good old fashioned fun…  
Then, the dream attacked again.  
All of it, from the very beginning, with all the times it was obvious Marvin was not precisely boyfriend material...but also with the times he himself could have acted better, and also with all the good times, including those future abruptly interrupted times...Maybe if he did things differently this time...  
“What the fuck am I doing here?” He got out of bed violently and dressed as quickly as possible.  
“Sorry David, it's not you, it's a regrettable game that I just can't stop playing.” 

The dinner conversation was starting to turn as boring as usual, with Trina asking questions to which Marvin had no legit answer without confessing his 'little secret’, and speaking about her daily worries (that the man considered dreadfuly tedious).  
As every single time this happened, he started to get moody, in such an obvious way that his child's eyes glowed with sadness as he realised an argument was probably coming.  
Usually, he would have blamed that look to his wife, since it was her the one that made him felt bitter.  
But, after that goddamn nightmare, somehow he had developed a more autocritical view.  
Maybe (and only maybe) he was also to blame. The woman was doing her best in the middle of an existence as almost as miserable as his…  
...and, in the end, they were almost going to see eye to eye…  
...at least, in his dream. A dream that wasn't real, he wasn't such an asshole as he saw himself in there, right?  
He just wanted to be loved, to be treated as HE deserved, to have the poster family he had always been trying to create...He had earned that little.  
[Really, have you?]  
That annoying voice inside his head started a personal exhibition of inexcusable misbehavior within the cursed dream and, then, backwards, even before his affair started.  
[And who's gonna love you if you are totally unable to do so yourself?]  
Usually, he would almost literally kicked out that inner monologue, but, for some reason, his answer was completely different this time.  
Before he could help himself, he started speaking.  
“Trina, there is something I have to tell you...in private.”

Some streets in New York are lonely at night. Not because of the lack of living souls, but due to the inability of all these errand creatures to step out of their opaque sphere and show who they truly are.  
Provided that they do know for a fact who that person is, which is a rare case.  
Nevertheless, in that very particular street, it was just the mirror version of the City That Never Sleeps, as there were only two mere figures walking through the boulevard, approaching like as if some cosmic inercy was pulling them together; but two figures that had finally decided to show that face they used to hide even from themselves.  
Once they noticed each other, their feet glued to the pavement for a second before accelerating until the only distance between them was the size of a whisper.  
Both men stuttered and started to explain what have brought them there in chaotic dissonance.  
Finally, four words came clear simultaneously.  
“I had a dream.” They stared at each other.  
Marvin swallowed deeply, he wasn't accustomed to do what he was about to do.  
“I don't want to lose you. I want YOU and I want to be better...but...I am going to need help. And it's gonna have to be yours, because I told Trina the truth, it's over , whatever that means. It felt good, so good I have already made up my mind about telling Jason tomorrow morning.”  
“All from a dream, uh? I never thought of you as the dreamy kind…”  
“Don't you mock me, you wouldn't be here...half dressed if not for a dream either.”  
Whizzer scoffed.  
“I guess you are right...this time.” The older man raised an eyebrow.  
“Only this time? By the way, how did the other guy take you leaving so early?”  
“Never gave him time to complain. He was good in bed, good the last one night stand before falling into the dreaded monogamy.”  
“Wait...WHAT?!”  
“Don't look at me that way, I also want this -whatever it is-to work and...perhaps there are things I can improve too.”  
“Yeah, perhaps.”  
Both laughed softly before melting into a kiss.

Neither of them knew if they were going to be able to improve, to not only survive together, but LIVE together.  
But they were going to try, helping each other instead of being oblivious of the other one’s faults until It was way too late.  
And that is more than most people can say.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaand that was it,  
> I hope you like it and didn’t find it too cheesy or anything. Btw, I thought maybe there could be more fics in this timeline (I have some ideas…) would you guys be interested on them?  
> And, before I go...  
> ...THEY ARE BRINGING FALSETTOS TO LONDON SO THERE IS AN ACTUAL REAL CHANCE OF ME SEEING IT, I AM SO EXCITED I JUST WANT TO KNOW THE TICKET PRICES (another seven people to win my heart, hooray), THE CAST...MY HYPE IS OVER THE MOON  
> Wish you enjoyed it,  
> All feedback is appreciated,  
> Long life and prosperity,  
> Marla Lannister Erso Dan Glokta


End file.
